A Personal Reflection
Reflecting on my journey, it’s clear how much my relationship with fear and vulnerability has changed. For much of my life, I believed I was the only one who could take care of myself. This mindset came from my upbringing and left little room for vulnerability -it simply wasn’t an option. Instead, I learned to rely deeply on myself, trusting only my instincts and acting without question. Whether I was right or wrong didn’t matter. What mattered was survival, and in this framework, vulnerability was an enemy I couldn’t afford.
This mentality led me to take risks without truly considering them. I remember mountain climbing in the French Alps without ever fearing the deadly heights. It wasn’t bravery; it was ignorance of my own limits and fragility.
But something changed in 2014. I looked back at the damage -burned bridges, broken relationships—and saw a clear pattern: the common denominator was me.
Therapy became my path forward, as I realized I had much to lose if I didn’t address these deeply ingrained behaviors. The stakes were high -I was in a relationship that mattered greatly to me. While we had worked through some of my past challenges, it was clear that without real, internal change, this relationship wouldn’t survive.
During therapy, the NEO-PI-R personality test was an eye-opener. It revealed aspects of myself I hadn’t acknowledged before -traits that had shaped how I interacted with others, but more importantly, with myself. My therapist helped me realize a profound truth: vulnerability isn’t a weakness to be avoided -it’s essential to forming genuine connections. For most of my life, I believed no one would take care of me but me, leaving no room for vulnerability or trust in others.
However, therapy taught me that vulnerability invites support. When I allowed myself to share my fears and insecurities, I opened the door for others to offer help and understanding. This wasn’t just a revelation regarding relationships -it was a fundamental shift in how I saw myself. Letting others in allowed me to form deeper, more authentic connections. It was the opposite of the self-reliant narrative I had clung to for so long.
I also started to recognize my own mortality -realizing that the risks I once took without a second thought now came with a new, healthy fear. This fear wasn’t paralyzing; it was a reminder to respect life’s fragility and cherish my vulnerability.
This journey aligns with the complex relationship between thoughts, emotions, and feelings—a concept I came across in a recent blog post. The post discussed how thoughts shape emotions, emotions drive thoughts, and feelings are the subjective experience of both. This dynamic loop is something I’ve experienced firsthand.
- Thoughts can control emotions and feelings. I noticed that my self-reliant mindset created fear, but by reframing situations and acknowledging my vulnerabilities, I learned to manage these emotions more effectively.
- Emotions can also shape our thoughts. In moments of anger or fear, my thinking became narrow, often leading me to reactive decisions. But once I allowed space for vulnerability, my emotions stopped driving my actions so reactively.
- Feelings result from the ongoing interaction between thoughts and emotions. When I became more mindful of this cycle, I found peace in sharing my vulnerability, and in doing so, I reconnected with others on a deeper level.
At 1for2 Social Innovation, we encourage this journey of emotional intelligence and vulnerability in our work with clients. We help people navigate their thoughts, emotions, and feelings in ways that empower them to grow. True connection comes from embracing the parts of us we once hid -whether out of fear, pride, or self-preservation.
The path to change isn’t easy. It requires confronting old patterns and beliefs about ourselves. But I’ve learned this: fear doesn’t have to be the enemy. It can be a guide, pushing us toward growth and, ultimately, to deeper, more meaningful connections.
What about you?
We all have our personal “peaks” to overcome -fear, vulnerability, or something else. How have these challenges shaped your journey? I’d love to hear your stories or reflections in the comments below. Let’s continue this climb together, supporting each other in our personal growth and finding strength as we return, changed, to the base.
Follow me on LinkedIn!